My why?

When I was 25 years old my boss asked me to get drinks after a work event. This wasn’t anything unusual, employees got together for drinks all the time. I was under the impression we were going to grab a drink until he had me hop in his truck and he drove to a neighborhood where he parked on the side of a street. He literally pulled out a cooler of beers from his back seat and proceeded to tell me what an incredible employee I was, how I had so much potential for growth, and even asked if I had ever considered filling the shoes of my other supervisor one day. As he opened the beers I asked him to drive me back to my car, but he wouldn’t.

As he sat there “praising” me with two open beers he had one hand in between my upper thighs and the other hand moving softly across my chest. I panicked and said I would just walk. As I started to get out of his truck he turned it back on and started to drive. That night and the following morning he texted me multiple times asking if I was okay, he knew what he did and was back peddling.

The next day I went to my Human Resources crying asking for help, but I quickly realized once the director got involved I was being interrogated and not supported. It was my word against his word and it didn’t help he was also friends with the HR director. This woman (yes, a woman!) HR director did not support me, she only cared about the state facility we worked at and ensuring they were not sued.  I was alone.

A state attorney got involved and I was led to believe he was there for me, but again, I was wrong. The verdict concluded that my boss was partially guilty of sexually assaulting me because it was his word against mine.

Rumors flew around about me at work. I was slut-shamed, I apparently pursued him, yadda yadda yadda. I was young and naïve and unfortunately, I made a bad decision to get in his car that night. The one thing I didn’t do was ask to be assaulted and then shamed. Do you realize what this does to a 25-year-old girl who is asking for help after being in this vulnerable situation and HR laughs? Shame on this place!

I’m telling you this story because it was this experience that led me to where I am today as a leader. I’m a 37-year-old professional woman, married with two children, and damn will I let other young professionals get taken advantage of the way I was because they didn’t have a strong foundation or the resources. I didn’t have a mentor coaching me as a young professional, no one spent time with me to focus on my career development and learning how to own my skillsets. By not knowing how to own my skills and strengths I followed the lead of others and it backfired.

Good leadership supports the professional growth of their team and I want you to know you are worthy, you are smart, you are capable, you are learning, and you have everything in you that you need to succeed.

I’m fortunate to be surrounded by many strong women leaders during this season of my life, and I’m incredibly grateful for the support, love, and growth they’ve provided me. Thank you, Jena, Leslie, and Denise… You ladies are incredible, the ultimate boss babes, thank you!

Unapologetically myself,

Cristina